


sometimes we fumble

by annalyia



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: 5+1 Things, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Shepard (Mass Effect), But mostly fluff, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gift Fic, because I am a fluffy kind of person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 19:43:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12306381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annalyia/pseuds/annalyia
Summary: Shepard thought she was always in control of her words.  that was true until she met a certain asari





	sometimes we fumble

**Author's Note:**

> a gift for [this lovely girl](http://www.literary-queen.tumblr.com)

Shepard had always prided herself on being a well-spoken person.  She wasn’t necessarily the most eloquent, but she was always able to get her point across and say what she needed to say. 

So, needless to say, she was rather surprised when she opened her mouth to answer Dr. Liara T’Soni’s question, and a jumbled mess of words fell from her lips instead.

Blushing, Shepard quickly stammered out an apology for her behavior.

Dr. T’Soni just smiled.  “It is quite all right, Commander,” the asari said.  “I understand what it’s like to get flustered after a long day of work.”

Yeah, work.

That’s what it was.

She was just tired from work.

“I think what the Commander meant to say was that you’re welcome to make yourself at home anywhere on the ship, Dr. T’Soni,” Ashley supplied.  With a knowing smirk, she added, “yeah, she does this all the time.  Y’know, gets all tongue-tied and stuff.”

Shepard had to refrain from stepping on Gunnery Chief William’s toes as a gentle but firm reminder of rank.

“Thanks for the clarification, Chief,” she said.

“Anytime, Skipper,” Ashley replied before leaving Shepard alone with Dr. T’Soni.

“So, Doctor,” Shepard began slowly, so as to have time to formulate her thoughts, “do you think you’ll adjust well to being here?”

“Oh, yes, of course!” Dr. T’Soni replied brightly.  “I’m very good at adapting to new places and situations.  It comes with being a researcher.  Thank you for asking, though.”

“Just trying to make sure my crew is well taken care of.”

“It means a lot.”  The asari smiled again, her cheeks darkening as she and Shepard maintained eye contact.  “Also, um, please feel free to call me Liara,” she said.  “Dr. T’Soni is just more formal than I like.”

“Sure thing,” Shepard replied.  She was glad that Liara had turned to go before she noticed Shepard’s profuse blushing. 

\--

Liara’s eyes turned downcast as she confessed looking into Shepard’s background without her knowledge.  “I apologize, Commander.  After our last conversation, I was afraid I would say something stupid again.”  After a pause, she continued, “I wanted to know more about you.  To understand what made you into the woman you are.  There’s something compelling about you, Shepard.”

“Are you sure you’re interested in me, or is it my visions of the Protheans?” Shepard asked, hyper-aware of the situation.  This wouldn’t be the first time someone was interested in her for a reason other than just who she was.

“I admit, your connection to the Protheans had something to do with my initial interest, but it has grown beyond that,” Liara explained.  “You intrigue me, Shepard.  But I was not sure if it was appropriate to act on my feelings.”

Feelings?

“W-w-wha—” Shepard paused, taking a deep breath to compose herself.  “What kind of feelings?”  She grimaced internally at the way her voice cracked on the word feelings.

“What about us, Shepard?  Is there a mutual attraction?  Or was I wrong about that?”

Once her brain function returned to normal, Shepard quickly said, “n-no, you were right.  There is s-s-som-something between us.”  She tried not to let her blush show too much.

A bright smile broke out on Liara’s face.  “I knew it!  And I knew you felt it, too,” the young asari exclaimed.  “But…” She paused, unsure of her words.  “Does this not seem rather strange?  Why do I feel so close to you?  We have only known each other a short time.  We are from two different species.  We have almost nothing in common.  This makes no sense!”

Shepard laughed, the corner of her mouth tugging up.  She was glad that it was not just her who was bumbling around in this situation.  “These things, they, uh, they never make sense.  They just happen, and we, well, we get swept up in the storm.”

“You make it sound so…chaotic.  So…dangerous,” Liara said.

“I’ll, um, I will, gosh, I’ll keep you safe,” Shepard said, mentally smacking her hand against her forehead. 

“I am not looking for a protector,” Liara replied, eyebrows furrowing together.  “This is all a bit overwhelming.  I am not used to…this.  You.  I need some time.”

“Yeah, no, that’s, uh, that’s totally cool,” Shepard told the asari.  “Take, uh, take all the time you need, Liara.  I will, um, I’ll be here.”

“Thank you. Shep,” Liara said.  “Let’s…let’s just talk about something else for now.”

“I think, uh, that I’m gonna go,” Shepard stammered.  She turned to go and, unfortunately, miscalculated where she was standing and ran smack into the wall, missing the door completely. 

Liara stifled a giggle.

Shepard all but ran out the door. 

\--

“I, um, I like talking with you, Liara.  N-no matter the subject,” Shepard said softly, twisting a lock of short fiery red hair in her fingers. 

“You have been very understanding with me, Shep.  Very patient.  I appreciate that,” Liara answered, a gentle and kind smile on her lips.  With a sigh, she continued, “I know there are some…strange beliefs about my people.  I am familiar with the legend of asari promiscuity.” 

Shepard swallowed a rather large lump in her throat at that. 

“But, those rumors have little basis in fact,” Liara explained.  “When one of my people joins with an individual from another species, it is a very deep and spiritual exchange.  We do not enter lightly into a union.” 

Shepard breathed a quiet sigh of relief.  She was not one to take things like this lightly either. 

“You, um, y-you make it sound almost mystical,” Shepard said.

“A true union goes far beyond ordinary melding.  It is a connection that transcends the physical universe.  Two become one.  Thought and senses merge.  Identities intertwine.  Memories and emotions weave themselves together, becoming entangled in a single, rapturous whole.  It is unlike any other experience.  In some cases, it can be a truly life-changing event.”

This was all beginning to sound very surreal to Shepard.  She wasn’t entirely sure how what Liara was describing could be true.

Shepard frowned, some small worry tugging at her heart.  “Y-you asari can, well, you can live for a thousand years.  What…” She paused, gathering her wits.  “What happens when your partner—” _when I_ , she thought to herself “—grows old and dies?”

“Some unions are a single encounter between two willing individuals,” Liara said with a shrug.  “But, there are cases where an asari and her partner choose to remain together.  When that happens, we do not focus on the inevitable loss.  Instead, we enjoy the time we are given.  And…even after a partner has passed on, a part of them lives on in us.  The union is a connection that transcends both time and space.”

“It sounds amazing,” Shepard breathed, even though she still did not fully understand the idea of a union.  “So, um, is there, uh, oh geeze—”

“Oh, Goddess!” Liara seemed to understand what Shepard was vaguely trying to ask.  “I am sorry, Shep,” she said, blue skin turning a darker shade with her flush.  “The union is more than just sex.  It is the life-blood of my species, the way we asari evolve and grow as a society.”  She paused, blushing even more (which Shepard wasn’t sure could happen) before saying, “that is why I have never…uh, I mean, that is why we must choose our partners with great care.”

“I, um, I want, well, this is something that you need to be absolutely sure about, Liara,” Shepard said firmly (well, her tone was firm, even if her words seemed jumbled). 

“I am only one hundred and six, barely an adult by asari standards.  And I spend most of my time absorbed in my research.”  Her eyes turned down, embarrassment apparent in her manner.  “I never really thought about it,” she mumbled.  “Not until I met you.”

“Me?” Shepard squeaked. 

Liara brought her eyes to Shepard’s, meeting them with a kind smile.  “You are very special to me, Shepard.  But with all that’s happened—Saren, the geth, the Reapers—I do not know if we are ready for this.”

Shepard froze, unsure of what to do next.  If she wasn’t who Liara wanted, maybe she should take her leave.  “I, uh, I’m gonna go,” she said, quickly turning on her heel so as to hide her humiliation from the asari. 

“Shepard, wait!” Liara reached out and grabbed a hold of the human’s wrist.  “I just meant that there is too much at stake and that we need to put aside our personal feelings and focus on stopping Saren.”

Shepard turned back to Liara.

“I…I wish it did not have to be that way,” the young asari said softly.  “But we all have to make sacrifices.”

Shepard’s mouth set into a firm line.  “Okay,” she said before wriggling her wrist from Liara’s grasp and leaving.

\--

Shepard took a deep breath.  She smoothed her hair, wishing she had been more studious in brushing it that morning instead of just carding her fingers through it like she usually did. 

“Everything okay, Commander?” Miranda asked.  “You seem a little flustered.”

“What?  Oh, um, yeah, I’m fine,” she answered absently.  “Do, um, do the two of you mind if I go in alone at first?”

Miranda started to protest, but Garrus interrupted her.  “Yeah, of course, Shepard.  We’ll wait for you out here.”

When she (finally) walked through the door, Shepard came upon a strange scene. 

Yes, Liara was there, but something seemed a little different.

The Liara that Shepard remembered would not have threatened to flay someone alive.

Immediately after her strong words, Liara noticed Shepard.  Her surprise was evident on her face and in her movements as she stumbled over herself and her words. 

However, it was Shepard’s turn to be surprised when Liara turned and brought her lips to Shepard’s in a tender kiss that reaffirmed Shepard’s feelings. 

After she pulled away, Liara kept her forehead pressed against Shepard’s.  “My sources said you were alive,” she murmured, “but I never believed…it is good to see you.”  Her smile was genuine. 

Shepard opened her mouth to reply, to tell Liara just how much she missed her, but instead she sneezed. 

Right into Liara’s face.

Eyes wide, Shepard began scrambling to recover.  “Oh, oh my gosh, Liara—I-I am _so_ sorry, oh my goodness, this, this is not, how could I—I’m sorry.”  She covered her face in her hands, skin burning from her mortification. 

But Liara was just laughing.  Hearty laughter that made Shepard feel a little bit better about her mistake.  “It is okay,” she eventually managed to say through her chuckles.  Wiping a couple tears from her eyes, she continued, “I did not expect anything different from you.”

Shepard peeked out from between her fingers.  “Really?”

“Of course,” Liara said, taking Shepard’s hands in her own and lowering them from the human’s face.  She pressed her lips to Shepard’s once more.  “Don’t worry, okay?”

“Okay.”  Shepard smiled.  “It’s good to see you, too.”

\--

Shepard stood back and watched.  She was aware of how capable Liara had become in the two years they had been apart, so she trusted the asari to do what was best.  So, she didn’t interfere when Liara took over as the new Shadow Broker.  It might have surprised their drell counterpart, Feron, but Shepard saw it coming from a mile away.  Thankfully, though, he and Garrus left quickly to check on things (calibrations, probably, knowing Garrus) around the broker’s base. 

The second the others left, Liara let her guard down.  Her back was to Shepard, but it was obvious the asari was crying; her head was in hands and her shoulders were shaking. 

Shepard placed a gentle hand on the other woman’s shoulder, a sign of comfort.  Liara smiled and said something about the situation finally being over.  Shepard just pulled her in for a hug, holding Liara close, murmuring an, “it’s all right.”

Liara smiled into the embrace before leaning back and dipping her head towards Shepard’s, giving her a small kiss.  “It’s been two years.  I don’t….”  Liara paused, mulling over her words.  “We’re different people.  You have your mission, and—” her sentence was cut short by Shepard pressing their lips together.

Well, at least, that was what she tried to do. 

It ended up being more like Shepard ramming her forehead into Liara’s nose, much to her dismay.  Liara’s laughter bubbled up before she gave Shepard another kiss.  “Nice.”

“I’m not known for my charming nature,” Shepard quipped.

“I think you are plenty charming.”  The two shared a smile.  “But we should focus.  Let’s see what our options are.”

The moment over, Shepard once again stepped back and watched Liara work.  She listened as Liara explained the old Shadow Broker’s setup.  “With the Shadow Broker’s network, I can help you.  Maybe I can turn this operation into something better.”

Shepard knew there was no point in trying to dissuade Liara from this path.  “Just…don’t be a stranger this time.”

“Small chance of that.  Come back soon.”  Liara smiled.

\--

This was it.

The end.

The final battle.

Shepard observed her crew.  No one seemed nearly as intimidated as she would have thought, but she supposed that it made sense, considering everything that they had been through over the years. 

As much as she enjoyed the company of her other squad mates, there was only one person she wished to speak to at the time.  She wove her way through the base to where the asari was standing.  Liara’s blue eyes lit up when Shepard approached. 

“How are you holding up, Liara?”

“This is it, isn’t it?”

Shepard frowned.  This was the kind of conversation she was hoping to avoid with Liara.  “Yeah.  This is it.”

“I don’t know what to say.”  After a beat, she continued, “I just know that I’ll have a clever line five minutes from now.”  The smile on Liara’s face was lacking any joy.  “I do have one thing for you, Shepard.  A gift.  It’ll only take a moment, if you want it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Liara said.  Her smile turned a little happier.  “I can show you some of my memories.  Asari exchange them, sometimes with good friends…or their bondmates.”  Liara looked down, unable to meet Shepard’s eyes.  “It can also be a way to say farewell.”

“Show me,” Shepard said for once without any hesitation.

“Close your eyes.”

Once their eyes opened again, the two smiled at each other.  “Thank you.  For everything,” Liara said softly. 

“I love you,” Shepard said.  She was sure of her words, her feelings.  She was sure that this was what she had been feeling about Liara for quite some time.  She was sure that she needed to say it, sure that Liara needed to know. 

She was also sure that kissing Liara needed to be the next thing to happen.  So, Shepard took a confident step forward before placing her hands on Liara’s hips and drew the asari close, pressing their lips together. 

It was, for lack of a better word, a good kiss.  It was sweet and simple, but also managed to convey all the emotions that Shepard had never been able to express to Liara.  It showed Shepard’s passion and love, finally sorting out the jumbled mess that was Shepard every time she tried to tell Liara how she felt. 

“I love you,” Shepard repeated after she pulled back.  “And I mean it.”

Liara’s expression was soft, her adoration apparent in her eyes.  “I love you, too, Shepard.” 

**Author's Note:**

> hi friends! so once upon a time a girl did a really nice thing for me and so I (eventually) got my act together and wrote this fic for her! I'm a really big fan of awkward Shepard 
> 
> as always, I love comments and kudos and they are definitely appreciated :D


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